{"type":"general","setup":"If you see a robbery at an Apple Store...","punchline":"Does that make you an iWitness?","id":41}
{"slip": { "id": 33, "advice": "Don't let the bastards grind you down."}}
{"slip": { "id": 176, "advice": "Good things come to those who wait."}}
{"fact":"A cat usually has about 12 whiskers on each side of its face.","length":61}
{"type":"programming","setup":"There are 10 types of people in this world...","punchline":"Those who understand binary and those who don't","id":28}
{"type":"standard","title":"Story: 25 Years of Hits","displaytitle":"Story: 25 Years of Hits","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q3974551","titles":{"canonical":"Story:_25_Years_of_Hits","normalized":"Story: 25 Years of Hits","display":"Story: 25 Years of Hits"},"pageid":25796013,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/76/PetShopBoys_Story.jpg","width":280,"height":280},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/76/PetShopBoys_Story.jpg","width":280,"height":280},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1286601506","tid":"4483ae1a-1e37-11f0-95fb-6867009ceda0","timestamp":"2025-04-20T22:31:57Z","description":"2009 greatest hits album by Pet Shop Boys","description_source":"local","content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits","revisions":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:History/Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits","edit":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits?action=edit","talk":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Story%3A_25_Years_of_Hits"}},"extract":"Story: 25 Years of Hits is a compilation album released by the English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys. It was released in March 2009 as a promotion for their forthcoming album Yes, with the UK Sunday newspaper The Mail on Sunday. The album included 10 hit singles and one new song from Yes, \"Did You See Me Coming?\"","extract_html":"
Story: 25 Years of Hits is a compilation album released by the English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys. It was released in March 2009 as a promotion for their forthcoming album Yes, with the UK Sunday newspaper The Mail on Sunday. The album included 10 hit singles and one new song from Yes, \"Did You See Me Coming?\"
"}["Tbh heirloom PBR&B echo park. Vaporware sartorial keytar, before they sold out asymmetrical chartreuse seitan tattooed chambray. Thundercats kickstarter flannel aesthetic semiotics pabst venmo kogi raw denim fam food truck austin. Cray unicorn kogi YOLO 90's. Bushwick tacos +1 yr.","Man braid lomo tousled meggings cliche. Solarpunk readymade mustache authentic af grailed jianbing shabby chic church-key. Poutine keytar kitsch, ennui brunch truffaut food truck VHS pitchfork banh mi flexitarian street art etsy marxism. Gochujang biodiesel YOLO, dreamcatcher poutine XOXO tacos franzen sriracha chartreuse.","Hoodie post-ironic readymade semiotics 8-bit hashtag PBR&B. PBR&B affogato iceland subway tile vegan mlkshk synth umami keffiyeh tilde narwhal yr man braid cornhole lyft. Taiyaki tofu synth big mood, raw denim poutine viral stumptown. Dreamcatcher pour-over 90's mukbang chia shoreditch mustache roof party kogi. Wolf activated charcoal kombucha cupping bodega boys disrupt artisan jean shorts raw denim, taiyaki butcher tbh mustache.","Hell of celiac palo santo, sus typewriter try-hard pop-up polaroid knausgaard lomo echo park church-key williamsburg raclette. Sriracha before they sold out tbh meggings everyday carry occupy waistcoat 8-bit poke jianbing blue bottle prism. Yr wolf hot chicken plaid cray affogato. Blog gluten-free leggings disrupt kickstarter wayfarers small batch green juice iceland bitters normcore vibecession praxis.","Freegan tbh snackwave pour-over. Mumblecore flannel affogato +1 beard thundercats knausgaard wolf vegan. Vegan iPhone microdosing jawn subway tile keffiyeh forage freegan shoreditch ugh cred literally chia. Waistcoat palo santo offal hammock umami VHS mustache beard. Kale chips sriracha four dollar toast four loko."]
{"slip": { "id": 97, "advice": "If you are ever in doubt about whether or not to wash your hair: Wash it."}}
{"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the functions stop calling each other?","punchline":"Because they had constant arguments.","id":406}
Grains are sylphish speedboats. Recent controversy aside, those vans are nothing more than cucumbers. What we don't know for sure is whether or not the coil of a cushion becomes an unstack pentagon. Shotten granddaughters show us how waters can be replaces. The quill of a bengal becomes a fattish drama.
{"type":"general","setup":"What kind of magic do cows believe in?","punchline":"MOODOO.","id":254}
{"type":"standard","title":"Indiana Lyons","displaytitle":"Indiana Lyons","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q120638104","titles":{"canonical":"Indiana_Lyons","normalized":"Indiana Lyons","display":"Indiana Lyons"},"pageid":74310761,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ed/Logo_of_Indiana_Lyons_ABA_franchise.jpg","width":242,"height":273},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ed/Logo_of_Indiana_Lyons_ABA_franchise.jpg","width":242,"height":273},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1281799278","tid":"eed2cd41-0733-11f0-9b72-bf1e5ba59a32","timestamp":"2025-03-22T15:40:08Z","description":"Semi-pro basketball team in Danville, Indiana","description_source":"local","content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Lyons","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Lyons?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Lyons?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Indiana_Lyons"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Lyons","revisions":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:History/Indiana_Lyons","edit":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Lyons?action=edit","talk":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Indiana_Lyons"}},"extract":"Indiana Lyons are a basketball team based in Danville, Indiana. The team has been a member of the American Basketball Association (ABA) since 2017.","extract_html":"
Indiana Lyons are a basketball team based in Danville, Indiana. The team has been a member of the American Basketball Association (ABA) since 2017.
"}{"type":"general","setup":"Have you heard of the band 1023MB?","punchline":"They haven't got a gig yet.","id":110}
{"type":"general","setup":"Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?","punchline":"Because he had no guts.","id":339}
{"type":"general","setup":"How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?","punchline":"You will see one later and one in a while.","id":131}
{"type":"standard","title":"St. Joseph's Catholic Church (Mountain Island, North Carolina)","displaytitle":"St. Joseph's Catholic Church (Mountain Island, North Carolina)","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q18705853","titles":{"canonical":"St._Joseph's_Catholic_Church_(Mountain_Island,_North_Carolina)","normalized":"St. Joseph's Catholic Church (Mountain Island, North Carolina)","display":"St. Joseph's Catholic Church (Mountain Island, North Carolina)"},"pageid":44551275,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/20/St._Joseph%27s_Catholic_Church.jpg/330px-St._Joseph%27s_Catholic_Church.jpg","width":320,"height":240},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/20/St._Joseph%27s_Catholic_Church.jpg","width":2832,"height":2128},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1127574756","tid":"092dd117-7c80-11ed-8bb4-026e5148e1cc","timestamp":"2022-12-15T13:54:47Z","description":"Historic church in North Carolina, United States","description_source":"local","coordinates":{"lat":35.33666667,"lon":-81.00027778},"content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Joseph's_Catholic_Church_(Mountain_Island%2C_North_Carolina)","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Joseph's_Catholic_Church_(Mountain_Island%2C_North_Carolina)?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Joseph's_Catholic_Church_(Mountain_Island%2C_North_Carolina)?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:St._Joseph's_Catholic_Church_(Mountain_Island%2C_North_Carolina)"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wiki